WOW

It's crazy how an individual can have sooo many emotions all at once it seems to amaze me how lately i've been full of so much confusion, happiness, anger, sadness, ambition, etc, etc. i don't think that i have ever felt so many emotions all at one time and it's kind of crazy because it's hard to separate them or distinguish them at times there's soo many positive things that have come into my life lately and that have been occuring but then again when there is a positive there is a negative to counter act it, it just seems as if thats how always things seem to go down beginning from the situation between my husband and i, that is just so crazy and it's as if everybody in my life is in shock for the most part that i am no longer living with him and that i am not hanging out with him because i did invest 13 years of my life with this individual but what the hey what can i say it's like playing the stock market when it comes to a relationship you invest what u can into it and then u never know whether your stock is going to go up or down in my situation my stock was neither going up nor down it was just stuck at par and i was like hey i might as well break even at least so thats why im where im at, and its soo much better now at least in my opinion who knows and dont get it twisted its not as if he ran out on me or left me or what have you, because he does still love me and is super duper into me, it was a decision that i had to make and it was just the time because as i always say everything happens for a reason, the thing now is that he's being super nice and trying to be what i've wanted him to be for the past 13 years but at the same time his usual self but ya know something i've realized from my recent experiences that you cant always hold onto whats sooo wrong just because it's the sure thing and yeah my husband is the sure thing no matter what he will be there regardless, but ya know something, what good is a stock when the stock isnt growing?? the thing is this like a close friend of mine told me also anybody can tell you what you want to hear when they are in a situation of where they dont have control of the situation, so like the eastwood commercial i cant take that ride, and some of you might be thinking what the hell is she rambling about but others who know me already know what i mean by that, it is what it is, so at this point of my life i've just pretty much given up on the stock because at this point im not ready to invest any more time and energy, and part of me feels bad about just giving up but the other part of me which is the logical part of me tells me that i have all the right in the world to feel that way and that there is nothing wrong with me being selfish in this situation i think im at the point in my life where im being a little selfish and dont get it twisted im still a super sweet, nice, generous individual and always put others first before myself but in this situation im putting myself first, and i think i deserve to do that for once so im not feeling bad about that, a close realtor friend of mine told me the other day why should you feel bad about being happy???? and yeah know something she was completely correct with that so call me selfish call me a bitch i dont care im happy at the moment and im going to continue to be happy because i only live once and ya never know when your check out time is going to be, on the other hand career wise im doing great ;) so hey i can't complain and im super duper greatful to have the individuals in my life right now who are contributing to my positiveness in my life and they know who they are i care about you and appreciate and love most of you bunches and the others its only a matter of time before i love you bunches too ;)